HANDS-FREE DEVICES could be better.

Tell me the truth, fair readers. Do these ears look unusually small to you? Because I can’t see them, have I been oblivious to the fact that the orifices on the sides of my head just aren’t normal?

The fact is, I can’t find a hands-free device that fits to save my life. Believe me, I’ve tried. After buying–and returning–countless sets (including iPhone’s branded products, Plantronics nifty new line, and Jawbra’s futuristic gadget), I have become convinced that the “problem” must just be my woefully misshapen ears. If others were having similar frustrations, surely I would have heard about it, right?

I’ve performed Google searches and scoured CNET searching for any reviews about earbuds that work especially well for ladies. Unfortunately, the results have amounted to comments such as, “These probably won’t be comfortable for women.” What the hell?

Until now, the issue has merely been irritating. I’ve just been relegated to holding my iPhone up to my ear any time I need to answer a call in the car. Next Monday, however, California’s Hands-Free law goes into effect. Although I am not big on chatting on the phone in the first place, as someone who spends quite a bit of time in the car, simply not using my phone on the road isn’t a practical solution. I must find earbuds that stay put!

I’ll be trekking back to the Apple store tomorrow, fingers crossed, where I plan to try on every damn set in the store. In the (all too likely) event that I can’t find a pair that works, I will make some poor salesclerk examine my ears. Then, I’ll come home and build an iPhone helmet.