RESTAURANT NAPKINS could be better.

Fed up with white fuzz on her black pants suits, A.S. asks, “Why do all nice restaurants have white napkins?” Ah yes, A.S., this is one of my pet peeves too.

Before a business lunch, I often go to great lengths to lint roll all of my dog’s shiny white hairs off my just-been-cleaned-but-already-mysteriously-covered-in-fur trousers…only to end up with a lapful of contrasting fluffies.

Even the finest eateries use snow white linens because, in the words of one restaurateur, “they’re easier to clean. You can just bleach them and be done with it.” Excuse me, but when I’m paying $29 for a slab of corn-fed beast, I don’t really care about the joint’s laundry costs

Listen up, master chefs. I’d like a black napkin, please. In fact, I’d like a choice of three or four colors. I ‘m pretty sure I’m not alone in this; I can’t possibly be the only one dry cleaning a Georgio suit after only one wear.

Get with it, Wolfgangs of the world! Even In-N-Out offers fuzz-free lap mats.